To build happy and harmonious relationships with your partner, you need to mature and be ready within yourself. What does it mean? Let’s find out. I often deal with situations where relationships fall apart even before they begin or are in crisis after several years of marriage. Why does it happen?
It happens because women today are increasingly in a position where they are only willing to receive but not give. They try to find everything in one person at once: a parent, a friend, a lover, someone who is willing to take on financial and other issues, and so on. We expect to be loved, understood, accepted, valued, protected, and provided for, while men should be brave, successful, balanced, caring, and so on. In other words, the man should combine all these roles, but there is no guarantee that he will be accepted with love and warmth. It’s no surprise that relationships gradually begin to deteriorate when we burden our partners with such a bag of responsibilities.
After all, the man also wants to relax, unwind, and show that he can be weak. He wants to talk about his day and be heard and understood. For him, a woman is his quiet harbor where he can take off his superhero mask and be himself. However, it is very difficult for a man to open up his soul to his partner due to the fear of being rejected or judged for his true nature. He is either guilty of something or not good enough to meet the woman’s expectations.
Statements from men about women being materialistic and demanding, as well as statements from women about men becoming shallow and lazy, and that there are fewer worthy male partners, have become increasingly popular. Dating websites give an illusion of a great choice, and both men and women are constantly searching for the perfect partner. At the first sign of trouble, they are ready to completely give up and turn on the status of “active search” again.
To prevent broken heart syndrome and truly build happy and harmonious relationships, you need to establish contact with yourself and grow spiritually. It is important to be in positive vibrations to set your mind right.
How can you achieve it?
Strengthen your inner faith, develop spiritually, and grow personally. It is crucial to understand who we are in this world and what we want from life, ourselves, and our partners. Shift your focus from air castles to understanding and developing yourself. It is important to explore yourself from the inside and discover your true self.
Body language dictates brain language. This means that any internal disturbances can lead to external dissonance. And that’s why… All studies show that disturbances in the work of the human body’s internal organs mainly occur due to stress. We do not always pay enough attention to it, and sometimes we even smile about it. But it is fundamentally wrong, and we should heed it first and foremost when we feel uncomfortable. The primary cause of stress is a disruption of the fascial tissue and its binding cells, which leads to their compression and the appearance of the first symptoms of diseases.
It is imperative to minimize stress levels to avoid not only physical discomfort but also to create a favorable external background. And this is where an inner dialogue with oneself helps. We must get to know ourselves, befriend ourselves, and accept everything in ourselves as a gift to use our resources for good. It is important to recognize that it is normal not to be okay. It is about accepting our imperfections and saying to ourselves, “I am enough as I am.” Showing self-compassion means treating ourselves with the same kindness and understanding that we treat our loved ones and friends. We need to acknowledge that everyone has the right to make mistakes, have bad days, and be imperfect.
When we start treating ourselves with kindness, we can more easily accept all of life’s challenges and crises. And most importantly, we begin to understand and accept others for who they are without trying to impose our own opinions on them or change them.
Order in thoughts and body allows us to walk hand in hand with our partner, without changing them but fully accepting them. By transforming ourselves, we change our field to be constructive and positive, and such people begin to surround us in our new life. Loving yourself gives birth to love for the world.
By changing ourselves, we heal ourselves and do not harm others. This kind of transformation of our soul leads to readiness to enter into happy and strong relationships that will last a lifetime.
In your sensitivity lies great power. The most amazing, important, but also the most difficult relationship is with yourself. Listen to your heart, strengthen your faith, and follow the program of your soul!
Text by Dr. Esther Vavilonskaya, Psychologist
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